Now more than ever, particularly with the #MeToo movement and the testimony of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, women are calling attention to sexual assault and holding men responsible for their actions. While men are not always the assaulters and women are not always the victims, women statistically have a higher chance of being sexually assaulted or harassed, so I will mostly talk about women. As progress usually goes, however, the success is not miraculous. Even though sexual assault survivors have come together through the #MeToo movement, and as a society we are more aware of the issue and are taking steps to prevent it, we fail to hold the majority of assaulters responsible for their actions, and not every survivor feels safe.

While many survivors have come forward with their stories, some assaulters still do not face consequences. Opening up about these stories takes tremendous courage, but there is always the scrutiny, doubt, and backlash that comes with it. For instance, Brett Kavanaugh got onto the Supreme Court and still coaches youth basketball, whereas Ford has received death threats and has had to move several times due to harassment. Even with attention and shifting social views on the subject of assault, the offense is still embedded in our culture without any redemption. That said, a huge blind spot is that while prominent figures in media and politics are getting called out, we are letting those in other communities get a free pass.

While Supreme Court Nominees and Hollywood directors are the only perpetrators we seem hear about, these offenses happen every day. The stereotypical scenarios of assault or rape will conjure up rowdy college frat boys taking advantage of drunk girls or a business man grabbing a secretary’s behind. However, sexual assault is not exclusive to college parties or the workplace. Sexual assault can occur to anyone anywhere, even in places one would not expect. I myself did not expect to experience sexual harassment at a comic book convention, where I was dressed in cosplay, just wanting to have fun like any other attendee.

For those who don’t know, cosplay is a combination of ‘costume’ and ‘play.’ People dress up as their favorite characters from comic books, anime, video games, and more. There are different reasons why people cosplay, but there’s one common denominator: it’s fun. Because of cosplay’s playful atmosphere, the majority of people don’t expect any ill will to come out of it. Although what some call “nerds dressing up” can lure in assaulters. It’s not uncommon to hear of instances that involve unwanted touching, inappropriate comments, and overall discomfort.

Unfortunately, there is a certain sense of entitlement when it comes to conventions and parties due to the relaxed environment.

I myself have endured these instances, and I remember them vividly. While attending conventions, especially in cosplays that fit tight or showed skin, there have been men who make me feel uncomfortable. I’ve endured catcalling, unwanted sexual comments, and having my personal space invaded. I’ve even been asked about my genitals. One of the scariest incidents was when I asked to take a picture with a Batman cosplayer when I had been cosplaying Robin. We took some fun pictures, but things got weird when he began leaning in closer. I leaned the other way but my friend was still taking pictures. I tried laughing it off, but I honestly didn’t know what he was going to do, and I couldn’t see his face behind the mask. Then my boyfriend noticed my discomfort and pulled me away. Although this cosplayer did not touch me, he made me very uncomfortable. I never consented for him to come in any closer. Fortunately, I have never been groped or worse, but I know some horror stories in the cosplay community.

Last month, the Javits Center hosted New York Comic Con (NYCC), one of the most attended pop-culture events on the east coast that boasted an attendance of over 250,000 people. This event is a giant hub for comics, celebrity panels, and merchandise. In more recent years, NYCC has put up this sign:

It reads: “Cosplay is not Consent. Please keep your hands to yourself. If you would like to take a picture with or of another NYCC Fan, always ask first and respect that person’s right to say no. When at New York Comic Con, be respectful, be nice, be cool, and be kind to each other.”

The slogan “cosplay is not consent” roughly translates to: a costume is not an invitation for assault. Consent is a choice, not something that is automatically given because of what the person is wearing or doing. A common question after an instance of assault is “What was she wearing?” The answer is expected to be a revealing or form fitting outfit, which leads to the assumption that “she was asking for it.” Like outfits, costumes are not indicators for consent. Therefore the outfit does not “ask for it” because a person asks for whatever if they want it, and if they’re not the ones doing the asking, it’s not consent. Consent is defined by a clear and enthusiastic “yes.”

There is an unflattering notion that cosplayers only want attention, specifically those who wear skimpy costumes. Just because someone wants to show off their legs or chest does not make it okay for you to touch them. It’s nice to be recognized but we do not do it for the enjoyment and pleasure of others. Cosplay is predominantly about the ‘play’ part, the fun in wearing a costume and showing love for the character. However, the cosplayer is not equal to the character. This should be obvious, as there is a person underneath the outfit, behind the mask.

Consent does not only apply to touching, but photography too. Cosplayers sometimes partake in photoshoots for professional pictures of their cosplay. In spite of this, some people don’t understand that taking a photo of someone without their permission is extremely rude. It’s such a common practice, but in retrospect it’s invasive. I’ve heard a horror story about a Starfire cosplayer, and how someone took a picture underneath her skirt without her consent. She had to track the person down and make sure he deleted the photo. She was just trying to enjoy herself at a convention and then she had to deal with some creep who thought a spandex skirt meant that he could exploit her.

When asking permission, respect that person’s right to say no, and definitely don’t harass them. No one is obligated to take a photograph with a cosplayer, just like no one is obligated to go on a date with a woman or get her phone number. If the person does not give a clear response of agreement, it is not consensual.

Let’s look at the flip side: the offenders. Sometimes these can be run of the mill guests or photographers, but even cosplayers can assault other cosplayers or celebrity guests.

There are a few infamous names in the cosplay community who have been accused (and most often proven) of sexual assault. Like in Hollywood, the more famous a cosplayer is, the more their actions will go ignored. For instance, actor Johnny Depp has been accused of assault and abuse towards his ex, Amber Heard. However, due to his popularity, he keeps getting cast in movies. The same logic applies to cosplayers. Those with thousands of followers and who have ideal bodies may feel their attention is warranted. Because they are considered attractive, they may ignore personal boundaries.  Those with fame and popularity in any community may begin to develop a sense of entitlement since they are not held accountable.

Fortunately, in the cosplay community, cosplayers are hyper aware of consent, and warning posts go viral pretty quickly. Most of the cosplay community take part in preventing assault, such as walking around in groups at convention (in some cases, as bodyguards) or reporting known offenders to security or on social media. Many women have come forward with their stories to warn other women about certain men, which in turn helps combat male entitlement in the community. Everyone needs to do their part in combating the issue as a whole.

So, instead of harassing the Harley Quinn cosplayer for a picture or snapping one without her knowledge, try asking. Usually cosplayers are okay with a selfie or if you put your arm around them, but it never hurts to ask. You can pay a compliment, but most women don’t want to hear how good their ass looks from a stranger. Say thank you and move along. The same applies to any situation because all environments are liable for sexual harassment. Cosplay is just as serious about this topic as everyone else, and sexual harassment should not be pardoned because it occurs during a leisure activity. Conventions are just as dangerous as the workplace and parties.

My advice: Don’t be a bystander, not even at conventions and especially at after parties (which often involve alcohol). If you see someone looking visibly uncomfortable with a vendor, photographer, or attendee, then intervene. The best thing you can do is to get them away from the other person. If it escalates, call authorities. A simple way to help intervene, and something I use myself, is by giving a compliment or a question that will require her attention. The more the target is involved with you, the more of a distraction it causes, which hopefully leads to the perpetrator walking away. This does not only apply to conventions; this applies to any and every situation. We can’t fail Dr. Ford and all the other survivors who have been silenced. It is everyone’s responsibility to have these lesser-known situations come to light and have justice served for survivors everywhere, including cosplayers.