Throughout my life, I have found that nothing provides me with more pleasure than the combination of a cozy blanket and a good book. As I watched my ever-expanding bookshelf continue to fill, I realized that I was growing up alongside it. My interest in books refined and expanded the more I matured. I no longer read because a book was popular or necessary for school; I read to fill my growing passion for literature.

As I grew up, I found that I no longer cared if people thought I was odd or nerdy simply because I enjoy reading. I would find myself browsing the shelves of bookstores, looking for my next great trip into a good story. Going to Barnes and Noble is a treat for me, and I find that the smell of paper and new adventures greets me like an old friend as I walk into the bookstore. My friends and peers often read because they had to, but unlike them, I found reading to be special. Books were a way to escape the mundane—to leave this world and enter another.

And while entering new realms, I found not just my escape but my values, my understanding of the world, and myself.

As a child, I never really thought about what the characters in books represented or what they subtly taught me. One of the first books that I realized meant more than just a story to me was Matilda. Matilda’s intelligence set her apart from her family due to their lack of interest in anything other than television. Her intelligence also allowed her to rid her school of the menacing Miss Trunchbull. When I first read the book, I fell in love with Matilda’s character.

One of the things that stood out to me the most was that she was considered different because she liked reading. I instantly identified with her because of this and found myself staring at my bookshelf, trying my hardest to make one of my books fly to me just like her. My connection with her only strengthened when she proved her intelligence. Her advancement in school was so quick that her teacher, Miss Honey, could not keep up with Matilda. I quickly realized at a young age that I, too, valued intelligence. Unlike Matilda, I do not possess super-powers; however, she taught me that intelligence is very much a super-power if used properly.

Further into my life, I read the entirety of the Harry Potter series. My love of the series grew with every re-read, but I valued Hermione’s quick intellect and her growth as a character the most. Many of my close friends would compare me to her due to my passion for books and my good marks in class. I found Hermione to be a role model and an accurate representation of one of the traits I hold dear. Her intelligence not only helped her become one of the top students in her classes, but it also helped Harry and Ron get out of dangerous situations. Despite her non-magical origins, Hermione made herself stand out at Hogwarts with her intelligence and academic excellence. I found that I grew extremely fond of her and saw her as another character that took pride in their intelligence despite criticism or social setbacks.

However, it was not just Matilda and Hermione who influenced me.

I found the idea of friendship in Charlotte’s Web. Wilbur’s growing friendship with the rest of the farm animals was something that, at the time, I really couldn’t relate to, but realized later on to be something I found significant. I discovered that having friends, people who will support and help you, is a very unique gift in this world. Much like Wilbur, I have found a great group of people who support me no matter what.

A value that falls hand-in-hand with friendship is family, and the story that stood out to me the most that represented this value was The Kite Runner. Assef’s journey into his family’s past and future forced me to take a step back and focus on my own family. I often would forget what exactly that word meant to me, but following Assef through his story helped me discover why it is important. At the time of reading this particular book, I was living in my dorm room on my own. I would only call my mother if I needed help with something, and I would call my dad if I wanted to rant. By the end of the novel, I found myself wondering why I did this and made it a habit to call my mom and dad daily to check in and talk. I found that family is equally important to friends, and one should not be prioritized over the other.

Unlike the love I hold for my friends and family, I also found the value of romantic love. While I have yet to truly experience it, I did take note of what is important to me in a relationship. I discovered that love can be difficult to explain and our passion is only human. In the novel Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen’s character Elizabeth Bennet really resonated with me due to her defiance toward social standards and how that defiance affected her love life. While the standards now may be different than what they were in Austen’s time period, I still find myself questioning why certain social standards are in place and how these standards relate to my own.

Classic literature was only one of many influences on my idea of love.

I found that Cath from Fangirl is another character I really identified with. She was eerily similar to me as far as personality goes, and her relationship with Levi was one I had dreamed of. Levi’s understanding and support of Cath despite her struggle with anxiety and rocky family relationships really resonated with me. As someone who struggles with anxiety as well, I found that his love for her despite these flaws was extremely romantic. He tried his best to help her feel less anxious and nervous around him. Cath’s reciprocation of these feelings is shown when she starts to accept Levi’s social nature despite her fear of social situations.

Fangirl helped me understand that love is not instantaneous; instead, it develops gradually over time. It taught me that love should be valued and is something that everyone can have despite our struggles and hardships in life. Additionally, I realized that Levi exhibited what I believed to be something that is important in a relationship: he took an interest in Cath’s interests. He wanted to read her writing and the books she held close to her heart. She, in turn, reciprocated those feelings by visiting his work, learning about his family, and seeing where he spent most of his time off campus.

I found that my standard of love at the time drastically changed after reading both of these books. I realized that I thought love was just like the movies, but it’s not just a fairytale whirlwind romance. I wanted somebody who would love me for me—something I still want today.

All of these values ultimately made me who I am today. I oftentimes find myself reflecting on my values and how I am depicting myself to the rest of the world. When I reflect on myself and my choices, I also notice how much influence books have in my life, the amount of weight they carry in my heart, and how important they are to me.

While I use books as an escape from reality, books have also forced me to look at the reality around me.

I read The Hate U Give around the time it came out, and, when I finished, I noticed just how little I knew about issues in the world such as race relations, police brutality, and mental health. I realized how naive I was about these issues that I never had to face. As a result, I took to learning about these issues and various solutions to the problems. Along with this, I also had lengthy conversations with my friends and family about these very same topics.

Now, The Hate U Give was not the first book I had read about real-world issues, but it was the first one that I felt extremely saddened by. I had never paid much mind to the Black Lives Matter movement as I didn’t really have a connection to it. I thought that what I had to say didn’t matter much because I wasn’t affected by it, yet I was wrong. However, I realized that just because you are not affected by something, it doesn’t mean you can’t help or support the cause.

After reading the book, I gained a greater amount of sympathy for people affected by police brutality as well as other issues. By placing myself in the shoes of Starr Carter, the main character, I was able to see how her experience relates to so many others’ experiences around the world. Ultimately, I gained a deeper level of understanding of why these issues are important and what to take away from it.

In addition to the social and political issues I read about, I found the importance of mental health prevalent in many of the books I read. One of the books that I felt covered this issue and its devastating effects was The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. Esther’s descent into depression leading to her suicide was not subtle, a choice that made the book more impactful in my opinion. Esther’s plight is one many people face in modern day society, and it is a serious issue that often times goes unaddressed because many people with depression have a hard time admitting it. The Bell Jar helped me understand that, in the real world, confronting people is one thing, but confronting yourself and admitting you need help, is something entirely different.

Much like The Hate U Give, The Bell Jar made me realize just how important mental health is. I quickly became cognizant of not just what I said but what others said as well. Phrases I would often brush off as an exaggeration became a concern. I started to become aware that I wasn’t the only person with issues. While I always knew this was a fact, I was never fully aware of it until after reading Plath’s novel.

Ultimately, every book I have read has helped me learn about what I value and what I see in the world, as well as what I believe to be the most influential characters in the story of my life. I never really thought about how something so small can have such a big impact. However, I now realize the profound impact books have had on my life. They helped me escape mundane and awkward situations. They also functioned as a way to discover new places, ideas, and struggles. In the end, books have helped me learn and understand, intentional or not, various concepts ranging from love and friendship to racism and inequality. Literature is why I get up in the morning. It is what brings me immense joy. And if you aren’t happy in life, then, in my opinion, you aren’t really living.