Fear is a self-defining factor in your life, one that you’ll most likely have to address eventually. So, let’s stop running away from this topic. Let’s stop pretending it has nothing to do with the way we live our lives. Let’s stop ignoring the fact that it’s vital to who we are. Instead, let’s take a lengthened look at fear and the many things it does to us.

Everyone has their fears, and they have different, personal reasons to fear whatever it is they do. It may even be impossible to be fearless, so why bother addressing your fear? To be free from them. After all, you can’t allow your fear to control your life because you’ll limit yourself from adventure, taking risks, becoming the best version of yourself, making certain memories, and doing the right thing. Instead, you must find a way to build up some courage and face your fears.

Controlling Fear: Short-Term Risks

There will be moments in your life when your heart rate speeds up until you can feel each thunderous beat in your chest, moments where your head swirls every time you ponder whatever it is you dread, and moments in which your hands shake out of control and your stomach is showing signs of seismic activity.

In these moments, your mind speaks, You don’t have to put yourself, or your body, through that. The truth of that thought lingers in your mind. It’s now being fed with what it calls “logic.” This isn’t necessary. There’s no point. Think of everything that could go wrong. There. It’s opened the large box of negativity in your mind, and you begin to think this voice knows best. Subsequently, you start to trust it. Now it seals its mission: Go back. Go back into your comfort zone. It’s safe there. You climb down and give up. And now that it’s an option, it starts to look golden, and it becomes better and easier each time. Now you’re safe again. Right?

One week later, you ask yourself a pressing question: What would’ve happened? Would I be thinking back to that moment with a body cast or be happily drifting off into what was turned into a lifelong memory? You will never know. That should haunt you. And it does because, slowly, you begin to understand that you’ve been stepping down every single time. That’s what you become accustomed to. Now a powerful voice takes that seat in your mind: Well, it’s time to change that.

Again, your heart rate accelerates, your mind is bursting, your hands are shaking, and butterflies are having a party in your stomach. You don’t need to put your body through this, you know. It’s happening. No! No, I don’t… because I am fully capable of this… and although my body is worrying right now, my mind is not. It’s that powerful voice speaking again. The voice only you can turn on. The voice only you will control. Now, you’ve decided it’s time to hand that voice a megaphone. Good choice. You fill your mind with confidence, you tell yourself that you are capable, and you face your fear.

There’s a fire inside of you now, and you can feel the shimmering, red-orange flames rising, getting brighter, and shining through any possible doubt in your mind. You did it, and you’ve had an exhilarating rush that you enjoyed!

That is all it takes sometimes to face what you’re so afraid of: confidence and reassurement. Sometimes, you just need to take a deep breath, focus, and remind yourself that your courage and your potential is stronger than whatever it is you fear. Other times, all you need to do is tell yourself to start thinking rationally and do it with confidence.

Oprah Winfrey once said, “Whatever it is you fear most has no power. It is the fear that has the power.” Remember that because if you don’t worry so much about whatever it is you’re afraid of (and feed off the power of your fear), you can get through it perfectly fine. Your potential and ability to succeed will hold an insurmountable power when you believe in yourself. On the other hand, when you think you will fail, you’re already halfway there.

Controlling Fear: Long-Term Risks

Sometimes, it’s not just a one-time moment you fear. Other times, it’s something bigger than just a simple risk. Maybe there could even be a harsh consequence following whatever it is your heart is begging you to do, causing your head to swarm with fear.

Those are the times when you really have to think about how much what you hope to do is worth to you. If it means standing up for what you believe in, would you be willing to accept the consequences? You have to consider that because you must go into what you’re doing with full knowledge of what may happen. If you’re going back to what hurt you before, you must understand what you’re risking. If you’re taking a big step in your life, you must be aware of your chance to fail.

Ultimately, when you’re completely aware that you may have to take a fall, and you take that jump anyway, it makes you more prepared for your journey.

It also makes your will to succeed even stronger because now you know that whatever you plan on doing is worth it. You’re willing to take the bruises and scars life wants to mark you with for it. While standing in your boxing ring decorated with scars, scrapes, and burns everywhere, you look at yourself in a newfound light. Not only is the idea of giving up miles away from entering your mind, but you also look at yourself and suppress a knowing smile: I knew I would bruise. I know I’m going to keep fighting. And I know I will do whatever it takes. I will get up after each fall because I know these scars are worth it.

Fighting despite the consequences is courage. Bethany Hamilton once said, “Courage doesn’t mean you don’t get afraid. Courage means you don’t let fear stop you.” It’s making the choice that you are willing to take the risk and then sticking with it. After all, courage is no accident; it’s a choice you will make with your head held high should you need to face your consequences.

Overcoming the Fear of Failing

Sometimes, you may even make the wrong choice. Sometimes, the risk you took got you into a large amount of trouble. Sometimes, whatever hurt you before will hurt you again. Harder. Sometimes, you failed when you took that big step in your life. You feel defeated. You feel like a failure, and your body wears a heavy armor of regret.

Except you shouldn’t regret anything. The truth about life is that sometimes you will get hurt and you will fail. Don’t hide from the opportunities life has to offer because you have a fear of failing. Then you’ll only fail by default, which is much worse because this is when the thought truly pays you a cold, hard slap from the depths of your heart: What would’ve happened? Except this time you had your chance, and it’s over. Remember, you don’t want to live your entire life carrying a heavy stone with an engravement of “Could’ve Been” on your shoulders.

Taking falls will only make you stronger after getting up. Failing after you gave something every piece of effort within you lets you know that it just wasn’t meant to be. But you’re still going to take those chances in life because you want to take in all the goodness life wants to serve you, even if it means you must accept all the bad things as well. After all, your failure only makes your future success, which you will only receive by continuing to try as hard as possible, so much better.

Ultimately, if the opportunity of success is worth it, you cannot let the fear of failing stop you from taking those big risks.

Now that you’ve finally explored the topic of fear, I hope you feel some freedom from your fears as you live your life, and are more open to taking risks. Keep in mind that you cannot become a victim of your fear. With confidence, you can face your short-term risks. With courage and the judgment of something being more important than fear, you can face your long-term risks. Just remember to never let fear stop you from reaching your full potential and living the life you’ve always imagined.