“Why do patients stay in a hospital? Why don’t they just go home? Because they need the care of someone else – they need a nurse.”

I vividly recall this first lecture as a brand new nursing student, eager to learn about how I can help someone…just like the other 50 students in the room. One lecture turned into hundreds throughout my college education, and together, they provided me with knowledge of holistic care for a human being.

However, those four years doubled as a stretch of sleep deprivation, mental exhaustion, and unhealthy coping mechanisms.

But my question is – after I graduated and became a nurse, did it ever change?

I complained in nursing school… a lot. My friends and I wore it as a badge of honor when someone got a mere three hours of sleep or had only one day to write two papers, take a final, and finish a 300-page book for some “useless” core class. But when it really came down to it, once a week, we put ourselves together and managed to safely care for sick patients over 8-12 hours.

Somewhere between years 2 and 4 of my bachelor’s program, I thought nursing school was a phase. I convinced myself that, after my final semester, life would be different – no more sleepless nights, stress levels would drop, and I would finally be able to eat healthy and exercise more.

But, speaking now, months into my first nursing job, my expectations could not have been further from reality. I still stay up late (way later than I should) and wake up ridiculously early more days than not. On my days off, I process stress with naps, Netflix, and maybe an occasional walk or run.

But time after time, I wonder – am I really an example of healthy living for my patients?

Patients routinely ask me for advice on a slew of healthy habits, assuming that, as a nurse, health is a given in my life. My patients respect my opinion, as it bears weight in the value they put on their well-being. They trust me to know what is good for them and what is not.

The fact of the matter is, though, that I am stuck today with the same unhealthy habits I learned in nursing school. My BSN program was great for teaching me how to care for others, but conversely, it failed at teaching me how to care for myself.

I caught a glimpse of normalcy in between nursing school and starting my career. I was “spoiled” with a routine schedule of job searching, abundant sleep, homemade food, exercise, and social opportunities. And it felt great. This was the life I envisioned myself having after college, but, like all good things, it didn’t last.

Nursing in and of itself is a field dedicated to self-sacrifice for the benefit of others.

Every day at work I put strain on my back by lifting objects and people, I risk sticking myself with needles, and I care for people with life-long diseases that I could inadvertently contract. Nursing embraces selflessness. But it is all too easy to hide behind the façade of a superhero complex and use it to justify self-neglect.

So maybe it isn’t that I was never taught self-care, but instead, that the nursing lifestyle detracts from it. What is nursing without self-sacrifice? And if you’re so focused on caring for others, does that detract from caring for yourself?

I have to believe no, but it certainly isn’t easy to distinguish. I think that they are directly correlated, and that it weighs on our souls more than we like to think. We are continually reminded about the significance of our jobs and our commitment to others.

While we are eager to serve, we are burdened by the fear of harming people in any way. We triple check the medicines we give – out of requirement, but also for peace of mind. We hold people’s lives in our hands. And with this great honor, we forget about ourselves. We prioritize our job, our care of others. We let our well-being slip…

I’m not sure if there is a problem with the nursing lifestyle, but there certainly is a misconception.

I’m not certain that there is a solution to this problem, nor that there’s a need for one, but if there is, I propose that it lies with self-awareness. To my patients: Please know that we’re people too; we have the same challenges as everyone else. We give our all for you, but we are human too.

To my nursing colleagues: Please start to prioritize yourselves once in a while, and make time for your own well-being. Don’t just focus on refilling your patients’ pitchers without caring for yourself – make sure you also stay hydrated throughout the day. Through your stress, listen to music, laugh it off, sweat it out – find something that works for you. Regardless, sleep more; set limits.

Self-care is not as daunting as it seems, but it’s a continual challenge in a profession that is dedicated to the care of others. My fellow nurses, my hope is that you will feel empowered to take some time to take care of your own health. No matter the state you find yourself in today, there is always an opportunity to create a better situation for yourself in the near future. Make today your starting point. In the words of Nancy Thayer, “it’s never too late – in fiction or in life – to revise.”