March 29, 2018—8 a.m., Korea Standard Time. Across the globe in America, it was the 28th of March, also known as Ivy Day, a much-anticipated day on which all Ivy League college results were released.

I didn’t know anything about it; I didn’t even know there was something called “Ivy Day.” I was a blissfully ignorant high-schooler, hoping for a successful entry to college; but, I did not have the slightest clue on what it would actually be like or how I would achieve it.

On that day, however, my ignorance came to an end. My classmates all gathered around somebody’s laptop as the classroom suddenly lost its quiet and became heated with excitement. Four of our seniors had been admitted to some of their top-choice Ivy schools.

Wow, I thought. So this is what the college application process is like—long, excruciating, and painful, but concluding with a thrilling blink of an eye.

And thus began my exploration of the world of admissions. I began researching colleges, which involved trying out College Confidential and looking at acceptance rates. It was a whole new, robust society of students, parents, and educators that, despite my past unawareness, was very vibrant and interesting.

And that is also how I discovered the relatively young YouTube trend, which was already immensely popular among high school students and college applicants: college admissions reaction videos.

Screams, Sobs, and Smiles

So, what are “college admissions reaction videos?” They are exactly what they claim to be—videos of students (sometimes accompanied by friends and relatives) reacting to their admissions decisions. Generally headed by titles that give away the list of colleges that were applied to, these videos are almost always made by the applicants themselves.

Ranging from all-acceptances to all-rejections, these short clips are overflowing with emotion and confusion. Just a brief look at the UPenn Class of 2022 acceptance reaction video, compiled by The Daily Pennsylvanian (a leading UPenn student newspaper), reveals how some may go on an emotional rollercoaster, while others may be dumbfounded to silence:

But, among all those topsy-turvy feelings that inundate these videos, the two most prominent seem to be: 1) despair and panic as the rejections/waitlists pile up, and 2) relief and joy after receiving an acceptance.

Here’s a good example of a high school senior receiving her Ivy Day decisions with her family members—the increasing anguish as she checks each decision becomes almost too much, for both the student herself and the viewer. However, in the end, a surprise awaits:

But What’s the Point?

After the vicarious emotional rush faded away—as I experienced the terror and thrill of opening a decision with the students in the videos—I began to wonder: Why are these videos so popular? Why do people upload these? And why do I  keep watching them?

Let’s try to answer these questions, starting with the viewers’ side. A brief look at the comments section tells us that a large portion of them are high school students, with most of them being fellow applicants or rising seniors. These teenagers are faced with a great, imposing gap: the gap between high school and college.

As a high schooler, I can testify that, while I am excited and looking forward to leaping over this gap, it just seems so unreal. The notion that college applications and matriculation are becoming my own reality—and not something reserved for older siblings or movie characters—is hard to grasp, if not daunting. When did I ever come so far? All my life, I’ve been either a child or an adolescent; going to college means that I’m growing out of those titles and finally entering the real world. And while I’ve been dreaming of all this, it is nonetheless a reality that is hard to accept.

Here’s where the videos come in. These video clips of emotional faces, of teens only slightly older than me, of high schoolers who have led school-oriented lives similar to mine, provide me with opportunities to experience the college application process vicariously. By watching these video posters—most of whom I can easily picture being my friend or classmate—take that leap from secondary to higher education, I can easily and smoothly approach the experience as my own near future.

I can see myself in their shoes, logging into that college decision portal, and receiving my decision. I can see myself becoming a university student, and I can accept and understand that reality. But I also can see myself getting a rejection, my face turning into a grimace just like the ones I saw in the videos as I try to cope with the result–and while the letdown will still be painful, it will be easier to deal with since I know that it’s something many others have experienced and eventually endured.

Thus, college admissions reaction videos can help students, such as myself, see the process as a more approachable and human one: not a strict pass/fail evaluation of numbers, but a human experience that can be both blissful and painful.

And we, curious and nervous, keep clicking on them until we feel like we have been accepted to college. But why do the uploaders keep making and posting these videos? My own experience provides a simple clue to this question: After watching the videos, I found myself secretly anticipating making my own, too.

While some may argue that reactions videos are an extension of the “bragging culture” prominent across today’s social networking platforms—and for some video posters, this may actually be the case—as a high school student, I see more than bragging and pride when I watch these videos.

While I cannot claim to know exactly how the uploaders must have felt, I can explain my own reasons and psychology as a future reaction video uploader. Admissions reaction videos are more than just “bragging”—they’re an attempt to reach out to people (mostly fellow students)  and share my emotions with them, as we all struggle through the process together, encouraging and consoling each other.

They’re the expression of the desire to make people empathize with me and understand the emotional ups and downs I’ll have gone through as I reveal my genuine feelings and reactions to them. It’s like telling people, “Look! This is how much this decision means to me, and this is how I feel!”

They not only help me prepare and brace myself for my future applications but also tell me about the human side of the process—one that may seem increasingly cutthroat and inhumane, with acceptance rates dropping and competition soaring. When the video’s uploader gets accepted, I am happy for them as they cry tears of joy; when they get a harsh rejection, I too am sad, for both them and myself, a future applicant.

And next year, if I end up making a video, too, I will keep in mind just how much others’ reactions helped me through my high school years, and I will do my best to convey how it feels to be either accepted or rejected.

Admissions reactions videos are not just about the results, they are about the emotional experiences of college applicants. And by sharing smiles and gasps, rather than SAT scores or successful essays, students develop a community where, instead of competing, they encourage, console, and congratulate each other.